Fresh Prince of Blogspace.

Well this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down, so I’d like to take a minute, so just sit right there and I’ll tell you how I got distracted from writing my blog.
[That doesn't fit. I know.]

Or

I've been busy.

The Bel Air fake-out. There’s a funny XKCD comic about it which if you badger me enough, I might find for you. I have had a very exciting week. Well, two weeks. Well, month actually. Bollocks, it’s actually about two months. Some of which I can’t tell you, some of which I won’t tell you and some of which I might have accidentally forgotten. Nearly all of it was very good though.

The News at 10:
1. I have put the rent down on my house in Liverpool so I’ll be living in a proper house with proper people and doing proper parties and proper ‘Come Dine With Me’ competitions.
2. I passed everything in my first year of my degree, no fails so no resits. Which is good.
3. I finally managed to tell a girl that I really like that I really like her and apparently it’s mutual [Must. Refrain. From. Egotistical. Joke!]
4. I’m making a juggling video with some friends of mine and apparently it’s going great.
5. I’m happy with how my hair is at the moment [Despite not actually doing anything at all to it].
6. I am, slowly but surely, getting into …not bad shape. I’m sure I’ve done a post on body image and fitness (if I haven’t, I shall), but sometimes I can be a little bit lazy with doing what I need to do, instead doing what I want to do (which is invariably search the internet for fun and new things to fill my time).
7. I bought a really good suit for the wedding I’m going to in about a week. It’s very… unusual. [Remember I said I wouldn’t tell you some things? That’s one]
8. I had a photo shoot (in the vary loosest sense) a while back where I had my favourite picture of me taken. It hasn’t got my face in it and you can’t tell it’s me. It’s still my favourite picture.
9. Mother and I have been getting on quite well, despite the stress and whatnot that is encapsulated within the buying, selling and moving of house and home.
10. My ego is full steam ahead. As usual. [Anyone who’s said they read my blog and told me they like it, count yourself highly responsible.]

So yeah. It’s been a bit busy here. Fantasticating femme indulgences, harrowing house investigations and worrying work issue [sometimes, I impress myself, I really do. This wasn't one of those occasions, but it had potential].

There was a post that I wanted to post. This post had a great name. A really great name. A name that I kept telling people. A name that I decided to write a post about. I started compiling a plan for the post almost solely around the name. I plan quite a lot of my posts but I’ve never tried to make one fit around a name first [that’s the last time that I’m going to ‘post’ or ‘name’ in this… update. And possibly use parenthesis, depending on how I feel about it. I’m sure you would like that, but you’ll have to check your luck. [You feeling lucky punk. Well? Are ya?]].

“This Machine Disapproves of Violence.”

It all started with a video by some nobody juggler on Youtube who killed some spiders with some clubs and balls and whatever. I watched it, aghast. The sadistic thrill that this bully was getting from using everyday objects (well, for some people anyway) [Oh look. I used parenthesis. Twice]
I started writing it and it went downhill pretty quickly. I got preachy and vague and rambling and not funny or interesting. I was talking about doing a law degree, why I’m doing it and my social obligations and duties and moral imperatives and I was talking about my faith and Karma and the three noble truths and sounding more like a zealot than I ever have in my life [there’s no believer like a convert, right?]
Who wants to read that? I didn’t even want to continue to write it, let alone read it.
Good name though.

Right now, it’s hot. It’s really hot. It’s almost 3am and it’s unnecessarily hot. People say stupid things when it gets hot (although not often do I have conversations about the weather at 3am). Usually, stupid annoys me. I’m bound to have discussed this before but I don’t like stupid. Well, that’s not true. I know plenty of lovely, harmless, interesting, moral, friendly, trustworthy, honest and driven stupid people (and not many smart people I can say the same about). But I don’t like ignorance and ignorance breeds stupidity. ‘No smoke without fire’ and ‘go together like a horse and carriage’ are both applicable idioms. ‘Hot’ stupid just makes me giggle and snicker though. What people say when they haven’t the energy to engage the brain. “Oooh, It’s the start of the summer” is a good one. I’m pretty sure it’s more than the start of the summer. Part way through. More likely past half way, as it goes. How about “There’s a heat wave coming!” Have you people been outside? It’s 30 degrees centigrade in the shade, the heat wave has arrived. It would also be sacrilege not to say something along the lines of ‘Delightfully English’, but frankly I think that’s balls. I’m sure people talk about unusual weather all over the world. It just so happens that England is particularly middle of the road and temperate that unusual weather has little correlation to extreme weather.

Writing is nice. I missed you.